Bill Gates
died. He
was sent to the
Afterlife Waiting
Room. He was met
by St. Peter, who
asked him if he
wanted to go to
Heaven or Hell,
and if he'd like
to see them before
he decided. Bill
said yes, and St.
Peter snapped his
fingers. They
appeared on a
sunny beach, with
people dancing,
swimming, and
playing
volleyball. Just
basically having a
wonderful time.
Good food, good
music, good
people. Bill turns
to St. Peter and
says, "Wow, Heaven
is great!" St.
Peter says, "This
isn't Heaven, it's
Hell. Want to see
Heaven?" Mr. Gates
nods yes, and they
appear in a shady
park, with a few
old people sitting
on benches feeding
birds. A gentle
breeze blows by,
and all is quiet
and serene. St.
Peter asks Bill,
"Well, which would
you like?" Bill
thinks for a
minute, and says,
"Well, if this is
Heaven, then I'll
take Hell."
Instantly, he was
plunged up to his
neck in red-hot
lava, the screams
of other tortured
souls filling his
ears. He looks up,
and sees St. Peter
in the waiting
room. Bill calls
out to him, and
said, "Hey! What's
going on? Where's
the beach? The
bikini-clad women?
The party?" St.
Peter turns from
his Macintosh to
face Bill, and
says, "That was
just the demo.
